Complaining – it’s all our fault! Choices, it all comes down to choices. We can choose to complain or choose to look for the good. When we choose to complain we increase the overall intensity of the vibration of what we are complaining about. Typically we are complaining about things that are not what we want.

Consider that every time we have the desire to complain that this is a most exciting opportunity. This notification tells us that something in our life is out of vibration harmony with our true selves, which means we have made or are about to make a choice, whether conscious or not, which is not the choice which best satisfies us.

Shortly after my first child came I found myself choosing to sacrifice my exercise & yoga time to allow my husband and child to sleep longer. I told myself at the time that I was doing what was best for my family even though the choice just felt wrong to me. In fact I felt like complaining about the choice the first time I made it. Hello! Wake up call! Within a couple of weeks I was pretty miserable to live with and I was getting resentful. I was mad at my husband for needing sleep and mad at my son for not sleeping through the night, you get the idea.

I found that once I decided to start choosing what felt right to me, getting up and going to the gym, that my desire to complain went away. When we are in alignment with ourselves, Spirit, the Divine, God, etc. we do not feel the need nor the desire to complain. We only complain when we are making choices which are not in alignment with Spirit.

This makes sense for situations concerning others too, although this is a much harder concept to embody. First comes understanding, then being able to walk in alignment with that new wisdom.

For example a girlfriend of mine called and complained to me about her husband. What choice would make me feel good? To pass on the complaint to my husband or other girlfriends, to tell her how I agreed and join in with her in the complaining? Would it be best to tell her I didn’t see the validity in her complaint as complaining is all our fault? :) None of the above. The only choice that feels good is to listen attentively and pass no judgement.

Challenge: The next time you feel the urge to complain, stop, find some stillness and seek the opportunity to make a better more harmonizing choice. 

Complaining, it’s all our fault! How can that be? It may not feel like it is our fault, after all that negativity we picked up from our waiter at the diner or from a cashier having a bad day – it certainly did not originate with us!

Let me ask you this, are you familiar with the concept that we are all one? That we are all little pieces of God, the Divine, Spirit or Source? That we all have a connection to the same thread of Universal Consciousness within us? If you are and you believe in this idea than how can anything not be our fault since any individualism is nothing more than illusion?

I’m not saying let’s start blaming ourselves or getting lost in guilt. On the contrary I am saying let’s take back our power by taking responsibility for everything, especially those things that by casual observance would not be seen as something we instigated.

For example, if we have a grumpy cashier – take responsibility for it! Ask them about their day, see the light that is inside them and shine your light and love upon them. Do a little Ho’Oponopono and allow whatever their reaction is to be. Do not allow their reaction to sway you, even if it is positive. We can be steady like the oak tree – unaffected by the wind or the changing of the seasons.

Choosing to realize when we are not feeling good means garnering awareness of when we are out of alignment with peace & no longer in line with spirit or who we are. This misalignment is often the result of a choice we are making unknowingly. For example, if we choose to pay attention to when our spirit feels less than ideal, (like when we unwittingly pick up negativity from someone else), we can break away from that, re-frame it – take responsibility and come from a place of gratitude. We can even take it a step further & thank our feelings and our self-awareness for the less than desirable emotion which helped us to stop the cyclone of negativity.

Spiritually it is important to always stay in a place of gratitude, to keep our energetic vibration frequency as high as possible. As connected beings we are all able to raise or lower the energetic vibration frequency of the world around us. Let the change begin with “The Man in the Mirror” as Michael Jackson once sang, after all it is the only person with whom we have any control.

My husband and I were recently on a road trip to Houston, he was kind enough to drive so I could relax and prepare for work. About the time we reached the outskirts around 10 PM on a weeknight, the complaints about other drivers started flooding in. I was annoyed, complaining doesn’t fix it – all it does is draw more negativity to it!

As the trip progressed he continued to comment on how awful the driving was and spent a lot of our car conversation on the comparison between Bad Dallas drivers and Bad Houston drivers – apparently Houston drivers still won as better drivers since they would let him over when he had on his turn signal.

A day and half into the trip I wanted to call someone and complain about his complaining – didn’t he see that it was causing more stress? Which is when the light bulb went off for me. If I called someone to complain then I was doing the same thing. Does any of this sound familiar to you?

When we experience something undesirable it is more than likely an opportunity to take a look inside and see what has brought about this circumstance. We can use the frustration we feel about things as a sort of mirror with which to asses and correct things within ourselves that are less than what we wish ourselves to be.

For me in this situation I realized that I wasn’t saying the most positive things, it does not matter if his negativity kicked it off, if we picked it up at a restaurant or if I myself had started it – the cycle could end with me.

I knew that in order to stop this cycle I needed to shift to a place of gratitude. So I looked at what I had to be thankful for. I was in fact very thankful that he is such an aware driver which makes me feel very comfortable when he is driving. I am also very thankful that he is willing & able to drive me on these road trips. Every time I started getting frustrated with a complaint I thanked him again for driving or commented on how aware he was and how I was always able to relax when he was driving.

So how is it all our fault? Well, that much information won’t fit here. Next time you consider complaining about something just remember to shift yourself into a place of gratitude. It may not be easy, but it is worth the effort.